Here is a low tech solution (it is the same answer with slightly different notation)
The solutions to $2(a^2+b^2)=c^2+d^2$ and $a+b=c+d$ are essentially $$c,d=4P^2,-2Q^2,a,b=2P^2\pm 2PQ-Q^2 $$ in that all solutions arise from these by possibly multiplying through by a constant $m \in \mathbb{Z}$. To have $\gcd(a,b,c,d)=1$ we should have $$\gcd(2P,Q)=1.$$ For a connection to Gaussian integers see the end.
The request was for $a+b=-(c+d)$ but that requires just changing the signs.
Here is (a sketch of) one way to arrive at that solution. Since we have $(a,b,c,d)=(1,1,2,0)$ lets look for other rational solutions with $a+b=c+d=2.$ We can then scale up to get (all) the integer solutions. So we seek $$2(a^2+b^2)=c^2+d^2 \text{ with }a,b=1\pm u\text{ and }c,d=1\pm v.$$ This simplifies to $$2(1+u^2)=1+v^2 \text{ i.e. }v^2=1+2u^2.$$
We can restrict this curve $v=\sqrt{1+2u^2}$ to $u,v \ge 0$ starting at the point $X=(0,1).$ If we take the line $v=1+ku$ of (rational) slope $k$ through $X$ it will intersect the curve at two points, $u=0$ and, after some algebra, $$u=\frac{2k}{2-k^2
}\text{ and }v=\frac{2+k^2}{2-k^2
}.$$ First substitue these values into $$a,b=1\pm u\text{ and }c,d=1\pm v.$$ Then set $k=\frac{P}{Q}$ to get expressions for $a,b,c,d$ all with denominator $P^2-2Q^2$. Clear the denominators to get the solution given above.
For example with $k=\frac{2}{3}$ we get $u,v=6/7, 11/7$ leading to the rational solution $(a,b,c,d)=(1/7,13/7,-4/7,18/7)$ and thus the integer solution $(1,13,-4,18).$
ASIDE: Since $(a+bi)(a-bi)=a^2+b^2,$ the form of this problem suggests to me that there might be an approach via Gaussian integers (where there is a unique factorization up to units.) I did not fully work one out but the following is suggestive:
$$a+bi=(1+i)(Q+P+Pi)(Q-P+Pi)$$
$$c+di =(1+i)^2(Q+P-Pi)(Q-P+Pi)$$
It might be enlightening to examine the variation $m(a^2+b^2)=c^2+d^2$ for $m=5,10,13$ or other values with all odd prime divisors of the form $4q+1$.