First of all, you probably know that the tangent at $x_0$ of the parabola $y=ax^2$ is:
$$
y = ax_0^2 + 2ax_0(x-x_0).
$$
If you didn't know this, keep reading! This means that, if we stay "close enough" to $x_0$, the line above is the one that approximates best the direction of the parabola.
In particular, if we move from $x_0$ to $x_0 + \Delta x$, we get:
$$
a(x_0+\Delta x)^2 = ax_0^2 + 2ax_0\Delta x + a(\Delta x)^2.
$$
You see that if $\Delta x$ is very small, the last term tends to vanish, and
$$
a(x_0+\Delta x)^2 \approx ax_0^2 + 2ax_0\Delta x
$$
becomes a very good approximation. Since $\Delta x = x-x_0$, the equation of the line given by:
$$
y = ax_0^2 + 2ax_0(x-x_0)
$$
is the equation of our desired tangent.
Your "T-formula" implies that a curve $C$ with equation:
$$
ax^2 + 2hxy + by^2 + 2 gx +2 fy + c =0
$$
has tangent $T$ in $(x_0,y_0)$:
$$
axx_0 + h(xy_0+x_0y) + byy_0 + g(x+x_0) + f(y+y_0) +c=0.
$$
We would like to show now that $T$ is tangent, that is, that $T$ is the best possible approximation of $C$ if we stay "close enough" to the point.
If we move from $(x_0,y_0)$ to $(x_0+\Delta x, y_0+\Delta y)$, like before, we get:
$$
a(x_0+\Delta x)^2 + 2h(x_0+\Delta x)(y_0+\Delta y) + b(y_0+\Delta y)^2 + 2 g(x_0+\Delta x) +2 f(y_0+\Delta y) + c =0.
$$
Expanding the products:
$$
\begin{array}{c}
a(x_0^2+2x_0\Delta x+\Delta x^2)+ \\
+ 2h(x_0y_0+\Delta xy_0+x_0\Delta y+\Delta x\Delta y)+ \\
+ b(y_0^2+2y_0\Delta y+\Delta y^2)+ \\
+ 2 g(x_0+\Delta x) +\\
+2 f(y_0+\Delta y) + c =0.
\end{array}
$$
Like before, we can neglect the quadratic "small" terms to get a linear equation, which approximates our curve in the best way possible. We obtain:
$$
\begin{array}{c}
a(x_0^2+2x_0\Delta x)
+ 2h(x_0y_0+\Delta xy_0+x_0\Delta y)
+ b(y_0^2+2y_0\Delta y)+ \\
+ 2 g(x_0+\Delta x)
+2 f(y_0+\Delta y) + c =0.
\end{array}
$$
To get the equation in $x,y$ for the line, we must (like before) replace $\Delta x$ with $(x-x_0)$, and now also $\Delta y$ with $(y-y_0)$. So:
$$
\begin{array}{c}
a(x_0^2+2x_0(x-x_0))
+ 2h(x_0y_0+(x-x_0)y_0+x_0(y-y_0))
+ b(y_0^2+2y_0(y-y_0))+ \\
+ 2 g(x_0+x-x_0)
+2 f(y_0+y-y_0) + c =0.
\end{array}
$$
Summing, we get:
$$
\begin{array}{c}
a(-x_0^2+2x_0x)
+ 2h(-x_0y_0+xy_0+x_0y)
+ b(-y_0^2+2y_0y)+ \\
+ 2 gx
+2 fy + c =0.
\end{array}
$$
This is an equation for the line, but we still haven't used the fact that the line must pass through our point $(x_0,y_0)$. Or, we still have to ensure that $(x_0,y_0)$ satisfies the equation for $C$. Now, we rewrite the expression above in the following way (we have moved the terms in $a,h,c$, and added and subtracted the terms in g,f,c):
$$
\begin{array}{c}
a(2x_0x)
+ 2h(xy_0+x_0y)
+ b(2y_0y)
+ g(x +x_0)
+ f(y+y_0) + 2c +\\
-(ax_0^2+2hx_0y_0+by_0^2+gx_0+fy_0+c) =0.
\end{array}
$$
Saying that $(x_0,y_0)$ passes through $C$ is saying that the second line vanishes! So we are finally left with:
$$
2ax_0x
+ 2h(xy_0+x_0y)
+ 2by_0y
+ g(x +x_0)
+ f(y+y_0) + 2c =0.
$$
Dividing both sides by $2$, we get exactly your formula.
(Yes, it is a rather long and complicated process. I can't come up with a simpler one that doesn't lose clarity and doesn't use advanced calculus. This is probably why they never prove it in high school!
Anyway, I'd be very very happy to see a shorter, elementary proof.)