Let's consider the lower-dimensional case of the calculation of the length of the circle and the area of the disk it bounds. The calculation with $ds$ goes through as usual for the length of the circle and gives the expected value. Now consider the calculation of the area of the disk by cutting it up into infinitesimal slices (curvilinear trapezoids) and adding up their areas.
Experienced users know that we can replace each infinitesimal slice by a rectangle of infinitesimal width $dx$ without affecting the final outcome for the disk, but to a newcomer this may seem odd ("why didn't we do that for the circle?"). Therefore it is better to approximate by ordinary trapezoids, without changing the length of the top and bottom sides of the curvilinear trapezoid.
The union of the trapezoids avoids the appearance of the "staircase" (as in the case of the rectangles) and provides a more plausible approximation. The area of each trapezoid is the product of its infinitesimal width (height) $dx$ (not the $ds$) by the average of the top and bottom sides. But now the picture becomes clearer: the top and bottom are of almost the same length, so the average is plausibly approximated by the long side of the infinitesimal rectangle.
This thought experiment should make it intuitively clear that in the end it makes no difference whether one uses rectangles or trapezoids, the main point being that the width is not $ds$ but rather $dx$.