Motivated by questions and answers in here and here, I would like to understand how to interpret and prove the following identity in a sense of distributions, where $x \in \mathbb{R}^3$ (assuming it is true; if not -- is there an obvious way how to change it so that it is true?).
$$ \lim \limits_{\varepsilon \to 0^+} \frac{\partial^2 }{\partial x_i \partial x_j} \left( \frac{1}{\sqrt{|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2}} \right) = \mathrm{P.V.} \left( \frac{3x_i x_j-|x|^2 \delta_{ij}}{|x|^5} \right) - \frac{4 \pi}{3}\delta_{ij}\delta(x) $$
I understand previous equality in a sense that for each sufficiently nice (for example, smooth and with compact support) $f: \mathbb{R}^3 \to \mathbb{R}$ we have the following identity.
$$ \lim \limits_{\varepsilon \to 0^+} \int_{\mathbb{R}^3} \frac{\partial^2 }{\partial x_i \partial x_j} \left( \frac{1}{\sqrt{|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2}} \right) f(x) \mathrm{d}^3x = \lim \limits_{R \to 0^+} \int_{\mathbb{R}^3 - B_R(0)} \left( \frac{3x_i x_j-|x|^2 \delta_{ij}}{|x|^5} \right) f(x) \mathrm{d}^3x - \frac{4 \pi}{3} \delta_{ij} f(0)$$
My main confusion is with proving existence of certain integrals and evaluating limits of integrals. I now provide some background for my calculations and then list of questions that I am confused about. I am okay with assuming dominated convergence / monotone convergence (or related) theorems.
For each $\varepsilon > 0$, function with values $1/\sqrt{|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2}$ is smooth, so one can compute the following. $$ \frac{\partial^2 }{\partial x_i \partial x_j} \left( \frac{1}{\sqrt{|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2}} \right) = \frac{3x_i x_j-(|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2) \delta_{ij}}{(|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2)^{5/2}} $$
So, I understand why for each fixed $\varepsilon > 0$, $\int_{\mathbb{R}^3}\frac{\partial^2 }{\partial x_i \partial x_j} \left( \frac{1}{\sqrt{|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2}} \right) f(x) \mathrm{d}^3x$ exists as it is an integral of smooth (so, continuous) function over a compact interval.
Question 1: However, how do we argue that limit $\lim \limits_{\varepsilon \to 0^+} \int_{\mathbb{R}^3} \frac{\partial^2 }{\partial x_i \partial x_j} \left( \frac{1}{\sqrt{|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2}} \right) f(x) \mathrm{d}^3x$ exists?
I understand that for each $\varepsilon >0$ and $R > 0$ we have the following well-defined equality.
$$ \int_{\mathbb{R}^3} \frac{\partial^2 }{\partial x_i \partial x_j} \left( \frac{1}{\sqrt{|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2}} \right) f(x) \mathrm{d}^3x = \int_{\mathbb{R}^3 - B_R(0)} \left( \frac{3x_i x_j-(|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2) \delta_{ij}}{(|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2)^{5/2}} \right) f(x) \mathrm{d}^3x + \int_{B_R(0)} \left( \frac{3x_i x_j}{(|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2)^{5/2}} \right) f(x) \mathrm{d}^3x -\delta_{ij} \int_{B_R(0)} \left( \frac{1}{(|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2)^{3/2}} \right) f(x) \mathrm{d}^3x$$
Question 2: Intuitively, it seems that we first consider limit $\varepsilon \to 0^+$ and then we consider limit $R \to 0^+$. This is motivated by the next equality, which I believe I can get from dominated convergence theorem. Is this the correct strategy?
$$ \lim \limits_{\varepsilon \to 0^+} \int_{\mathbb{R}^3 - B_R(0)} \left( \frac{3x_i x_j-(|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2) \delta_{ij}}{(|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2)^{5/2}} \right) f(x) \mathrm{d}^3x = \int_{\mathbb{R}^3 - B_R(0)} \left( \frac{3x_i x_j-|x|^2 \delta_{ij}}{|x|^5} \right) f(x) \mathrm{d}^3x$$
Question 3: In this case, how to show that the limit of previous integral as $R \to 0^+$ exists?
Now, I believe for the remaining terms (assuming that the strategy is to take $\varepsilon \to 0^+$ first and then $R \to 0^+$) I would like to show the following equalities.
$$ \lim \limits_{R \to 0^+} \lim \limits_{\varepsilon \to 0^+} \int_{B_R(0)} \left( \frac{3x_i x_j}{(|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2)^{5/2}} \right) f(x) \mathrm{d}^3x = 0 \quad (*) \quad \lim \limits_{R \to 0^+} \lim \limits_{\varepsilon \to 0^+} \int_{B_R(0)} \left( \frac{1}{(|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2)^{3/2}} \right) f(x) \mathrm{d}^3x = \frac{4\pi}{3} f(0) \quad (*)$$
Let me consider my ideas for the first of these results as my confusion is the same for the second result. First, the usual bound with $|f|_{\infty}$ does not seem to work, as I get the following. Here, I first use triangle inequality, then use that for all $i$, $|x_i| \leq |x|$ and for all $x \in \mathbb{R}^3$, $|f(x)| \leq |f|_{\infty}$, by the assumption on $f$.
$$ \left| \int_{B_R(0)} \left( \frac{3x_i x_j}{(|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2)^{5/2}} \right) f(x) \mathrm{d}^3x \right| \leq \int_{B_R(0)} \left( \frac{3 |x_i| |x_j|}{(|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2)^{5/2}} \right) |f(x)| \mathrm{d}^3x \leq |f|_{\infty} \int_{B_R(0)} \left( \frac{3 |x|^2}{(|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2)^{5/2}} \right) \mathrm{d}^3x$$
However, I believe that by going to spherical coordinates, previously established bound diverges as $\varepsilon \to 0^+$. So, I am forced to try another bound. Motivated by answer here, I agree that by symmetry one can show the following.
$$ \int_{B_R(0)} \left( \frac{3x_i x_j}{(|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2)^{5/2}} \right) f(x) \mathrm{d}^3x = \int_{B_R(0)} \left( \frac{3x_i x_j}{(|x|^2 + \varepsilon^2)^{5/2}} \right) \left( f(x) - f(0) \right) \mathrm{d}^3x $$
However, even though I understand that now we can use from continuity of $f$ that $\lim_{x \to 0} (f(x) - f(0)) = 0$, it is not clear to me how that helps with the bound.
Question 4: How to rigorously show that equalities in $(*)$ hold?