$$(x-x')^2 + (y-y')^2 + (z-z')^2
=r^2 + {r'}^2 -2\,r\,{r}' \,\cos\left(\theta - \theta'\right) + (z-z')^2$$
My attempt
I know that to tranform from Cartesian to cylindrical requires the following three equations
\begin{align}
r &= \sqrt{x^2 + y^2} \\
\theta &= \arctan{\left(\frac{y}{x}\right)} \\
z &= z \quad.
\end{align}
Directly, the question reduces to how to covert the following to cylindrical system.
$$(x-x')^2 + (y-y')^2.$$
Its natural to begin with $r$ and $r'$.
\begin{align}
(x-x')^2 + (y-y')^2
&=
x^2 - 2\,x\,x' +{x'}^2 + y^2 - 2\,y\,{y'} +{y'}^2
\\
&=
x^2 + y^2 +{x'}^2 +{y'}^2 - 2\,x\,x' - 2\,y\,{y'}
\\
&=
r^2 +{r'}^2 - 2\,x\,x' - 2\,y\,{y'}
\end{align}
Now the problem is to convert $ - 2\,x\,x' - 2\,y\,{y'} $ to cylindrical coordinate system.
The next part of the answer required trial and error, and some good fortune.
\begin{align*}
r\,r' \,\cos\left(\theta - \theta'\right)
&=
\sqrt{\left(x^2 + y^2\right)\,\left( {x '}^2 + {y'}^2\right)}\,\cos\left(\arctan{\frac{y}{x}} - \arctan{\frac{y'}{x'}}\right)
\\
&=
\sqrt{\left(x^2 + y^2\right)\,\left( {x '}^2 + {y'}^2\right)}\,\cos\left(\arctan{\frac{\frac{y}{x} - \frac{y'}{x'}}{1+ \frac{y}{x} + \frac{y'}{x'}}} \right)
\\
&=
\sqrt{\left(x^2 + y^2\right)\,\left( {x '}^2 + {y'}^2\right)}\,\cos\left(\arctan{\frac{\frac{y}{x} - \frac{y'}{x'}}{1+ \frac{y\,y'}{x\,x'} }} \right)
\\
&=
\sqrt{\left(x^2 + y^2\right)\,\left( {x '}^2 + {y'}^2\right)}\,\cos\left(\arctan{\frac{ y\, x' - y'\,x }{x\,x'+ y\,y' }} \right)
\\
&=
\sqrt{\left(x^2 + y^2\right)\,\left( {x '}^2 + {y'}^2\right)}\,\frac{1}{\sqrt{1+\left(\frac{ y\, x' - y'\,x }{x\,x'+ y\,y' }\right)^2}}
\\
&=
\sqrt{\left(x^2 + y^2\right)\,\left( {x '}^2 + {y'}^2\right)}\,\frac{x\,x'+ y\,y' }{\sqrt{(x\,x'+ y\,y' )^2+\left( y\, x' - y'\,x \right)^2}}
\\
&=
\sqrt{\left(x^2 + y^2\right)\,\left( {x '}^2 + {y'}^2\right)}\,\frac{x\,x'+ y\,y' }{\sqrt{\left(x\,x'\right)^2+ 2\,x\,x' \, y\,y' + \left( y\,y' \right)^2+\left( y\, x' \right)^2 -2\, y\, x'\,y'\,x + \left( y'\,x \right)^2}}
\\
&=
\sqrt{\left(x^2 + y^2\right)\,\left( {x '}^2 + {y'}^2\right)}\,\frac{x\,x'+ y\,y' }{\sqrt{\left(x\,x'\right)^2+ \left( y\,y' \right)^2+\left( y\, x' \right)^2 + \left( y'\,x \right)^2}}
\\
&=
x\,x'+ y\,y'
\end{align*}
At this point the nut is cracked, and I rebuild the solution as follows:
\begin{align}
- 2\,x\,x' - 2\,y\,{y'}
&= -2\,r\,r' \,\cos\left(\theta - \theta'\right)
\\
r^2 + {r'}^2 - 2\,x\,x' - 2\,y\,{y'}
&=r^2 + {r'}^2 -2\,r\,r' \,\cos\left(\theta - \theta'\right)
\\
(x-x')^2 + (y-y')^2
&=r^2 + {r'}^2 -2\,r\,r' \,\cos\left(\theta - \theta'\right)
\\
(x-x')^2 + (y-y')^2 + (z-z')^2
&=r^2 + {r'}^2 -2\,r\,r' \,\cos\left(\theta - \theta'\right) + (z-z')^2
\end{align}