To understand this, I think a good starting point is first having an intuitive idea of what a topological space is, which is something for which I struggled for a long time to find an answer to, and also which I finally believe I've found one. This is in part based on the top voted MathOverflow post on the subject:
https://mathoverflow.net/questions/19152/why-is-a-topology-made-up-of-open-sets
for which I found their explanation a bit deficient, and came up with this one to remedy it.
Intuitively, a topological space is all the data you can collect about the points comprising an object using a collection of rulers, while ignoring the sizes of the rulers - that last part is the essence of the whole famous old joke that a topologist can't tell the difference between hir coffee mug and hir doughnut, at least before taking a bite from the latter, and which, moreover, is not just any data: it's data which also satisfies a certain empiricality criterion which can be described in a meta sort of way as follows:
- Your rulers are not perfect, but you know their tolerance, and
- You have unlimited (read, "infinite") patience, but your collaborators do not. They will want proof, and they will want you to be able to produce it in a finite amount of time.
Reasonable? Okay, then here's how it goes. For simplicity, we won't be too fancy with what we call a "ruler" - we'll say a ruler is just a plank with two marks at some stated distance apart. (Note that a ruler with multiple marks can just be considered a superposition of such rulers.) The ruler's imperfection is to the extent of the thickness of the marks, such that if two points are wholly within the marks, then we know that they are less than the stated distance, and if they are wholly without, then we know they are more, but we cannot conclude anything if they are on the marks.
Call these two possible ascertainments that one can make with such a ruler the ruler's elementary judgments. They are the simplest forms of data you can collect about two points on the object in question. The one where the two points are inside are called the inner judgment, and where they are outside, the outer judgment. If the ruler is $r$, we can call the inner judgment it makes $I_r(P, Q)$ and the outer judgment $O_r(P, Q)$, where $P$ and $Q$ are the points we are evaluating.
So far, so good. Note that you can easily prove to your coworker that any judgment you make with these two alone: simply hold the ruler up to the two points and show them. One step, finite time, you're done.
But now things get more interesting when it comes to if we realize that we can also make a series of judgments using multiple rulers in successon. When we do this, we have what we may call a composite ruler judgment. Such a judgment is a logic statement, and can be formed from either the conjunction (AND), or the disjunction (OR), of elementary judgments or of other composite judgments, i.e.
$$J_\mathrm{composite}(P, Q) = J_1(P, Q) \vee J_2(P, Q) \vee \cdots$$
or
$$J_\mathrm{composite}(P, Q) = J_1(P, Q) \wedge J_2(P, Q) \wedge \cdots$$
where $J_j$ may be either composite or be elementary judgments $I_{r_i}(P, Q)$ and $O_{r_i}(P, Q)$ for some rulers $r_i$.
Now, the "empiricism" constraint comes in by the following reasoning, which is why I reference the above MathOverflow post. Suppose I make a judgment of the "OR" type. I want to know if I can always convince my coworker with their finite patience. And the answer is yes: to prove to hir, all I must do is hold up one out of the possibly infinitely-many rulers I used to make the judgment, or demonstrate only one out of the infinitely many composite judgments which, by closure, is also guaranteed to be verifiable.
But for the "AND" type of judgment, in order to show hir, I would have to do all the judgments that make ti up in succession, one after the other. Thus, if I have an infinitely long AND judgment, I'm sunk. Sie will not have the patience for that. Thus, we exclude such judgments. Hence, the set of all allowed ruler judgments, given some set of rulers $R$, is
- The elementary judgments $I_r$ and $O_r$ for each ruler $r \in R$,
- The composite OR judgment
$$J_O(P, Q) := \bigvee_{i \in I} J_i(P, Q)$$
for any indexed family of ruler judgments $\{ J_i \}_{i \in I}$,
- The composite AND judgment
$$J_A(P, Q) := \bigwedge_{i \in I} J_i(P, Q)$$
for any finite family of ruler judgments $\{ J_i \}_{i \in I}$.
Now take this: an open set is a set of points such that any pair of them satisfies some ruler judgment. A closed set is then the set of points who fail some ruler judgment. It is then easy to see that the set of all open sets should satisfy the following axioms, once you remember that set operations and logic connectives correspond with the duality that $\vee$ is $\cup$ and $\wedge$ is $\cap$, which should look familiar ...
- If we are given arbitrarily many open sets $\{ O_i \}_{i \in I}$, then
$$O_U := \bigcup_{i \in I} O_i$$
is open, and
- If we are given finitely many open sets, then
$$O_N := \bigcap_{i \in I} O_i$$
is open.
Hence, to not be so verbose, admittedly at the cost of intuition, we now throw out all the rulers, all the Boolean algebra and just work with the open sets. To understand topology, replace in your mind "open set" with a "set of points whose membership you can assess by using some combination of rulers and such that you will be able to show someone else who has finite (though unbounded) patience that your assessment is correct.".
(The reason this is not quite the same as the MathOverflow exposition is that there, they treat the set of rulers as the topological space, but that doesn't really make much sense because if we're talking, say, mugs, we don't want to think of a "mug made of rulers", we want to think maybe of measuring a mug WITH rulers - hence the exposition I give.)
Finally, we can return to the original issue at hand - why metric spaces are insufficient. Well, to do this, note that a metric space's set of rulers is basically those with points a set real-number distance apart. That is, there is one ruler for each real number. But is this a sufficient amount of rulers for everything? Well, suppose you had an object with points that, "in reality" were closer together than any real numbers, yet still not identical. Could you tell them apart now? In fact, we can not-too-hardly construct such spaces, and you could say - I believe - at least, that if you conceive of your measuring rulers as ruling between whole functions at once - as opposed merely to measuring values in the functions' codomains which is how that pointwise convergence is defined - that the functions under pointwise convergence are something like this.