Think of the mixed partial as an abstract tendency of the curve to twist like DNA, (but just because it's positive in absolute value doesn't mean the surface actually twists since other tendencies may overwhelm it), and the straight second derivatives $f_{xx}$ and $f_{yy}$ as an abstract tendency of the curve to bulge up or down in the $xz$- and $yz$- cross-sections.
To tease out the individual roles of the partials, let's assume for the moment that the mixed partials are identically zero, the better to isolate their effect later. If $f_{xx}$ and $f_{yy}$ are of opposite signs, then the curve has a saddle tendency (think of two curves, one in the $yz$-plane and one in the $xz$-plane, intersecting at right angles, one opening up and the other opening down: this will produce a negative intrinsic curvature or saddle shape like a hyperbolic paraboloid). Now think of the same parabolas but both opening say down, with $f_{xx}$ and $f_{yy}$ tending to have the same signs: that will tend to produce an intrinsic positive curvature (bulging) like an ellipsoid. I'm sure you knew this.
Now let's add in the mixed partials to show what their effect is. Think of the mixed partials as a pure twisting factor, also tending to produce a negative or saddle curvature, but rotated $45$ degrees! Yes, a twist is the same as a saddle tendency, but we think of it differently. Imagining your hand riding down along the wall of a saddle shape, like an airplane that dives while rotating, may help you see this.
Now: ever seen a diagram of a saddle showing a kind of "X" shape over it, diagonal lines coming out of the saddle-point, where the tendency to go up in say $y$ is canceled by the tendency to go down in $x$, and the thing just holds steady along the diagonal line, with $f_{xx}$ and $f_{yy}$ both zero here? Well, if you had a properly rotated saddle shape it might not go up or down in the $x$- or $y$- directions at all--and yet it would be negatively curved or twisting nonetheless as would be plainly visible from the other directions. It is THIS twist that the mixed partials measure (just as an $xy$-term rotates a conic, by the way).
If the curvature from the two ordinary second partials is negative, forget it--the mixed partials will make it even more negative. In other words, if $f_{xx}f_{yy}$ is negative because these differ in sign, the intrinsic curvature is already negative, and subtracting $f_{xy}^2$ will make it even more so. But if the curvature from the straight second partials is positive (bulging up or down), because $f_{xx}$ and $f_{yy}$ agree in sign, then possibly this positive tendency can still be overwhelmed by the independent negative-curvature twisting action of the mixed partials. That is why $f_{xy}$ is squared and subtracted: its sign doesn't matter to the saddle-ness and it is an inherently negatively-curved factor. The contest between these is the discriminant test you mention.