I have very little math education, and I will attempt to explain why. Since the issue is hard for me to understand, I'll write this "stream of consciousness" style, or something similar.
5x=10 I have a ton of issues with this when I'm trying to learn basic math; I cannot continue past this. When taught, it's explained that you need to divide 5x and the other side of the EQUATION by 5. Why? Khan Academy does not explain it, I'm expected to follow this "rule" mindlessly, and I don't like doing that.
Next, I'm supposed to visualize ten objects for the right side of the equation and five xs. The ten objects are divided into groups of two for a total of five groups of two. This is somehow equal to a distinct, separate group of objects "X" which contrast like this
X X X X X = OO OO OO OO OO
How is that equal? That is not equal. Two things are not similar to me; I don't believe that two things can be equal to each other. I don't think this visualization works? Can someone prove it for me? I feel that if there is a distinction to be made if you can somehow refer to multiple things, then they are not equal. To me, it seems that ten has to be the ONLY 10, and there cannot be another 10 and that only ten is 10.
IF so how is it that 3+7 = 10? How can two separable concepts become 10, which is already a "thing"?
Maybe you see my issue. Everything seems to be everything or to be wholly unequal, and the methods to solving things are unexplained, and I don't know why equations are answered the way they are and seem wrong to me. If two things are separable, to me, they are not equal. It all seems so arbitrary and stupid.
I'm probably extremely pretentious, and I'm aware that my tag is incredibly pretentious, but I feel that my question is complex because it deals with things that I believe are complex, to me everything is complicated. Maybe I'm really stupid, but that doesn't change anything since I still need help, and probably the best person to ask are people who deal with this stuff all day, so that's why I tagged it with what I did. I feel like the LSD I once did ruin how I comprehend ideas. Everything literally seems like everything to me, and that distinctions in things are arbitrary and just for convenience to continue living, or that maybe everything is unique and that it's wrong to say anything is equal. I don't know; I feel weird about concepts.