Axiomatic approach to the definition of variance I'm trying to grasp the intuition behind the definition of variance.  It seems plausible that we want to measure how much a random variable deviates from it's expected value.  But why using the square exactly?
From what I can see, we are interested in an assignment of the form $X\mapsto E(f(|E(X)-X|))$ for some strictly monotonous $f$ with $f(0)=0$ and $f(1)=1$.  Are there any further properties of the variance from which, if used as axioms, we can derive $f(x)=x^2$?
For example, would additiveness w.r.t. independent random variables, i.e. $$E(f(|E(X+Y)-X-Y|))=E(f(|E(X)-X|))+E(f(|E(Y)-Y|))$$ for $X,Y$ independent, suffice as such an axiom?
 A: Yes, additivity for independent random variables does suffice.
To simplify matters a bit, we may assume $E[X] = 0$ and $E[Y]=0$.
Let's also assume $X$ and $Y$ are bounded, to avoid questions of existence of 
expected values.  Also, since you only ever use $f$ on absolute values of random variables, we may define $f$ to be an even function on $\mathbb R$.
I'll also assume $f$ is continuous. 
Now you want an even function $f$ such that 
$E[f(X+Y)] = E[f(X)] + E[f(Y)]$ for bounded independent random variables such that $E[X] = E[Y]=0$.  By linearity of expectation, this is equivalent to
$E[f(X+Y) - f(X) - f(Y)] = 0$.
In particular, for constants $s$ and $t$, consider independent $X$ and $Y$ such that $P(X=s)=P(X=-s)=1/2$ and $P(Y=t)=P(Y=-t)=1/2$.
Then $E[f(X)] = (f(s) + f(-s))/2 = f(s)$, $E[f(Y)] = f(t)$ similarly, and
$E[f(X+Y)] = (f(s+t) + f(s-t))/2$.  Thus our equation becomes
$$ \dfrac{f(s+t) + f(s-t)}{2} - f(s) - f(t) = 0 $$
Note that for $s=t=0$ we get $f(0) = 0$.
Now taking $s = k t$ for integers $k$, we can show by induction that 
$$ f(k t) = k^2 f(t) $$
and thus for rationals $a/b$, $$f\left(\frac{a}{b}\right) = a^2 f\left(\frac1b\right) = \frac{a^2}{b^2} f(1)$$  By continuity, 
we extend this to reals: $f(x) = x^2 f(1)$.  If you assume the normalization  $f(1) = 1$, you have $f(x) = x^2$. 
I'm pretty sure that, as with the Cauchy functional equation, the assumption of continuity may be replaced by measurability (and we certainly need $f$ to be measurable, else $E[f(X)]$ would be undefined for, say, uniform random variables).
A: I started formulating this proof before I saw the recent version of Robert's answer, it's pretty much the same idea but I stil want to write it down.
Let $\Omega$ consist of $4$ elements with equal probabilities, I'll describe random variables over $\Omega$ just as $4$-tuples.
Now for $a\ge b\ge 0$ let $X=(a,a,-a,-a)$ and $Y=(b,-b,b,-b)$, those two are independent and we have $E(f(|X+Y|))=(1/2)f(a-b)+(1/2)f(a+b)$ such as $E(f(|X|))+E(f(|Y|))=f(a)+f(b)$.  So if we know two values out of $f(a-b)$, $f(a)$ and $f(b)$ then the third one is uniquely determined by our axiom and the fact $E(X)=E(Y)=0$.
First we see that $f$ is determined on $2^{-n}$ by induction on $n$, for the induction step choose $a=b=2^{-n-1}$.  Then, by induction on $m$, $f$ is also determined on $m2^{-n}$, for the induction step choose $a=m2^{-n},b=2^{-n}$.
So we know that $f$ is uniquely determined on a dense subset of ${\bf R}_{\ge 0}$ and since it must equal $x\mapsto x^2$ there, which is continuous on ${\bf R}_{\ge 0}$, we can derive all missing values exploiting $f$'s monotonicity.
