I taught myself how to count before I even learned how to talk or read. Playing with numbers was all I did when I was young. I didn't have anyone to foster that type of passion that I believe I still have.
I went to a school where teachers didn't care about math, mostly because none of them knew how to do it. It wasn't until I had started secondary school, in 8th grade, that I finally knew how a fraction works or what it does. My bad luck doesn't stop there; after going to high school, my 6th, 7th, and 8th grade math teachers were so bad at math that they aren't even allowed to teach mathematics anymore today. They genuinely did not do anything. My knowledge was a reflection of this.
When I was in 9th grade I started learning how to do Algebra because we got a new teacher. I actually learned something. From 9th to 11th grade I taught myself how to do math up to a Calculus 1 level. It was very hard in such a quick period of time. I saw some improvements. The textbooks we used are the worst in the country because the school I go to is poor. I can't afford a tutor because I don't have hundreds of dollars to spare every week for it.
I've just finished 11th grade. I dropped math completely. The highest mark for the yearly was 100%, to someone who goes tutoring. The highest mark for non-tutor students was 53%. That person spent his whole two weeks doing nothing but math, but only got 53%. Nearby schools meanwhile get averages of min. 90%, easily.
But I still want to do math, and I don't know how to continue this. What should I do? I think about it a lot and I feel so depressed and embarrassed knowing how bad at math I am. I don't think it's hard to self-teach with my level of understanding, but I need the right book that has everything. I think I am at a level were I can take matters into my own hands.
I know this site hates these types of questions, but sorry, I don't know where else to come. What should I do in my situation? Khan Academy is bad for my case. It teaches a lot of concepts, but all at a basic level. I need something that goes from the ground - up. I want to master Calculus 3 by the end of the year.