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I taught myself how to count before I even learned how to talk or read. Playing with numbers was all I did when I was young. I didn't have anyone to foster that type of passion that I believe I still have.

I went to a school where teachers didn't care about math, mostly because none of them knew how to do it. It wasn't until I had started secondary school, in 8th grade, that I finally knew how a fraction works or what it does. My bad luck doesn't stop there; after going to high school, my 6th, 7th, and 8th grade math teachers were so bad at math that they aren't even allowed to teach mathematics anymore today. They genuinely did not do anything. My knowledge was a reflection of this.

When I was in 9th grade I started learning how to do Algebra because we got a new teacher. I actually learned something. From 9th to 11th grade I taught myself how to do math up to a Calculus 1 level. It was very hard in such a quick period of time. I saw some improvements. The textbooks we used are the worst in the country because the school I go to is poor. I can't afford a tutor because I don't have hundreds of dollars to spare every week for it.

I've just finished 11th grade. I dropped math completely. The highest mark for the yearly was 100%, to someone who goes tutoring. The highest mark for non-tutor students was 53%. That person spent his whole two weeks doing nothing but math, but only got 53%. Nearby schools meanwhile get averages of min. 90%, easily.

But I still want to do math, and I don't know how to continue this. What should I do? I think about it a lot and I feel so depressed and embarrassed knowing how bad at math I am. I don't think it's hard to self-teach with my level of understanding, but I need the right book that has everything. I think I am at a level were I can take matters into my own hands.

I know this site hates these types of questions, but sorry, I don't know where else to come. What should I do in my situation? Khan Academy is bad for my case. It teaches a lot of concepts, but all at a basic level. I need something that goes from the ground - up. I want to master Calculus 3 by the end of the year.

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closed as too broad by Przemysław Scherwentke, user98602, Ahaan S. Rungta, Najib Idrissi, Claude Leibovici Dec 25 '14 at 9:36

Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • $\begingroup$ I realised after my graduation that i want to do math . I started forno reason and looked for youtube videos and i am doing what i love for past2 years .just keep on .. $\endgroup$ – godonichia Dec 16 '14 at 21:28
  • $\begingroup$ If you really master calculus 3 as i learned it on my own from youtube video by prof adrian banner of princeton university . See them and youwill not haveany problem in calc 3 .believe $\endgroup$ – godonichia Dec 16 '14 at 21:30
  • $\begingroup$ A side note you are already up on some of the kids I tutor, by having a passion for mathematics. At this level it is like going to the gym..you work hard you will get into shape (forget comparing yourself to other people worry about yourself and you will be fine! Great even!) .. But carrying on the gym analogy, you will not be "buff" or "fit" after one session, or worse without the prior morivation. So keep up your passion and push on through! Good luck $\endgroup$ – Chinny84 Dec 16 '14 at 21:42
  • $\begingroup$ try harder .... $\endgroup$ – Mister Benjamin Dover Dec 16 '14 at 21:53
  • $\begingroup$ For the emotional part of your situation: Nothing’s lost, I think. I wouldn’t worry too much. Don’t be embarassed, don’t feel ashamed, don’t feel bad: Everything’s fine. For the actual advice on studying calculus: I don’t know. $\endgroup$ – k.stm Dec 16 '14 at 21:57
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I think it is safe to say that most of us study math because we all love it. Since you've already have some experience in self-learning, I think you should go on and pursue your dreams, study what you like. You will always find someone who knows more math than you, and this is ok. This goes for all of us. Try to learn from these people, befriend them. On the other hand, you'll always know something these people don't.

I don't like to think that studying math is a competition. Study for yourself, try always hard to be the best you can. What's the point of studying what you like and being unhappy with it?

Since Khan Academy is too basic, take a look at MIT videos. You can search for books here. Go for it.

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    $\begingroup$ “You will always find someone who knows more math than you, and this is ok. This goes for all of us.” – I think this is false by Zorn’s lemma or something. $\endgroup$ – k.stm Dec 16 '14 at 22:02

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