The goal is to evaluate the sum of the double infinite series,
$$S=\sum_{m=0}^{\infty}\sum_{n=0}^{\infty}a_{m,n},$$
where the terms $a_{m,n}$ are given by the two-variable function,
$$a_{m,n}=\frac{m^2n}{3^m\left(n\cdot3^m+m\cdot3^n\right)}.$$
It will probably be much easier to see how one might exploit the symmetry if we reorganize the expression for $a_{m,n}$ a little. If we introduce a bit of auxiliary notation and define the single-variable function, $c_{x}:=x\cdot 3^{-x}$, we find a nice compact representation of $a_{m,n}$ in terms of this single function that is much more suggestive of the "near-symmetry" in $m$ and $n$:
$$\begin{align}
a_{m,n}
&=\frac{m^2n}{3^m\left(n\cdot3^m+m\cdot3^n\right)}\\
&=\left(m\cdot 3^{-m}\right)\frac{mn}{\left(n\cdot3^m+m\cdot3^n\right)}\\
&=\left(m\cdot 3^{-m}\right)\frac{m\left(n\cdot 3^{-n}\right)}{\left(n\cdot 3^{-n}\cdot3^m+m\right)}\\
&=\left(m\cdot 3^{-m}\right)\frac{\left(m\cdot 3^{-m}\right)\left(n\cdot 3^{-n}\right)}{\left(n\cdot 3^{-n}+m\cdot 3^{-m}\right)}\\
&=c_{m}\cdot\frac{c_{m}c_{n}}{c_{m}+c_{n}}.\\
\end{align}$$
Now when we take the symmetric sum of the elements it's immediately apparent that the double summation is now separable:
$$a_{m,n}+a_{n,m}=c_{m}\cdot\frac{c_{m}c_{n}}{c_{m}+c_{n}}+c_{n}\cdot\frac{c_{m}c_{n}}{c_{m}+c_{n}}=\left(c_{m}+c_{n}\right)\cdot\frac{c_{m}c_{n}}{c_{m}+c_{n}}=c_{m}c_{n}\\
\implies \sum_{m=0}^{\infty}\sum_{n=0}^{\infty}\left(a_{m,n}+a_{n,m}\right)=\sum_{m=0}^{\infty}\sum_{n=0}^{\infty}c_{m}c_{n}=\left(\sum_{m=0}^{\infty}c_{m}\right)\cdot\left(\sum_{n=0}^{\infty}c_{n}\right)=\left(\sum_{m=0}^{\infty}c_{m}\right)^2.$$
Hopefully that clears things up somewhat, but if not then please feel free to ask for further details.