I'm sorry if this question goes against the site. I have completed my engineering in computer science; we were taught to get degrees only in our university :(.
I love mathematics but time passed during my engineering, and now I find the subject frightening especially when looking into the area of discrete mathematics, permutation combination, probability and number theory.
I have many ebooks but I don't know from where I should start. Engineering students of my age are very strong in mathematics, and I wasted my time in playing games and watching movies. Whenever I start studying any ebook, fear comes into my mind after seeing symbols and expressions, and I feel like I should start with some easy book. At the same time I look towards my age and useless degree and get frustrated: I should know these things, how I look at a problem, I lack the intuition to comprehend it.
Please guide me with the proper start from scratch and sequence to learn the mathematics.