Can someone explain this to me without resorting to grammatical metaphors?
It is a matter of grammar. The indefinite integral expression is a large expression organizing several pieces of information:
$$ \color{blue}\int \color{red}{\underline{\quad}} \color{green}d \color{purple}{\underline{\quad}} $$
The blue $\int$ is a symbol expressing that this is an integral expression. The rest of the expression is the integrand.
The integrand consists of three components: there is the green $d$ symbol. There is the purple slot in which you place the name of the variable that you are integrating with respect to, and there is the red slot in which you place the function expression you intend to integrate (with respect to the dummy variable).
There are other grammatical interpretations of integral expressions -- most importantly (IMO) the notion of a "differential form" -- but this is the one you are using in your introductory calculus class.
This particular grammatical form has some symbolism. It is a useful heuristic to think of a "$dx$" as a miniature variation in a function. You can extend this heuristic by imagining the integral to be "adding" up all of these miniature variations. The symbol $\int$, I believe, originated as an elongated $S$, for "sum"; not dissimilar to the choice of sigma ($\Sigma$) for summation expressions.
The notion of differential form is a very useful one you may be interested in learning more about. Unfortunately, I am not aware of any exposition that introduces it as applied to introductory calculus: it's usually only really introduced in a differential geometry course.